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Today I’m exhausted. And today I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. About life in general. And untold stories. Which I’ll leave for another day. I wish I can think more about what I’m suppose to study – today has been the most unproductive day since I’ve started revision. Coffee during lunch couldn’t even keep me awake this time. But right now I’m here for happier things. (:
Tomorrow is my dad’s birthday! Well, in Malaysia it is already his birthday now. And it’s the first time I’m not there. (Actually come to think of it, I’ve either missed or am going to miss all my family members’ birthdays 
)
I guess I don’t talk about my dad much cos I’m not your typical daddy’s girl. But I can’t say I’m not one either. I just don’t turn on the waterworks to get what I want – that’s Jayson’s job. 
Yeah I guess I use to be one before Jayson came along.
Can you believe when I was a kid I use to make my mum promise to remind him to give me a kiss on my forehead when he comes home after I’ve fallen asleep? Haha. And every time it’s his birthday we go to the zoo! Cos it’s Labour Day so public holiday. I have very fond memories of the National Zoo – sparkling Ribena! (Ming, tell me you still remember this. Lol) I don’t remember when we stopped though. When I was 10 or 11? Good times.
My dad has always been an amazing pillar of strength for me especially more now that I’m here. I appreciate his super lengthy and full of advice-you-don’t-want-to-hear-but-know-it’s-true emails. Though I don’t let him know cos sometimes it just takes too much time to read them. Lol. But it’s definitely something I look forward to.
About a few weeks ago, I was in dilemma about choosing my optional unit for next year and I was arguing with my mum on Skype. And I was feeling really discouraged cos my mum wasn’t supportive about my choice and it’s really hard when you really want to do something and yet at the same time you don’t want to disappoint your parents. But I woke up the next day to this, (I wanted to blog about it but I was too busy with coursework then)
Hi Dear,
Heard from mum that you are going to do Spanish for your open unit. Spanyuuuuuuhraaaata! That means “Go ahead and do it in peace” in Spanish. If you had prayed and in your heart you felt peace when you decided to do it, I believe, God has written it in your heart. Trust him and you never know, you may need it one day. Maybe, we are going to win a free trip to Spain and we’ll have to bring you along to translate for us or maybe a handsome, God-loving Spanish Hunk going to come along your path. Haha. (Spanyuuuu-whatever doesn’t really mean anything. Lol.)
It totally made my day. (This was before I found out I could take French and decided to take that instead.) And this will be the only thing from my dad I’ll ever show. The other things are too personal like letter he wrote to me when I turned 10 – I’m not ashamed to admit that it still brings tears to my eyes when I read it. And there was the card he slipped into my laptop before he left me in Bristol – I cried buckets okay. Lol. Sometimes it’s the little things like these that you need to know that you’re loved. I don’t need him to get me material things I want. It would be nice if he does (and he DOES get me A LOT of nice stuff) but it’s this little gestures that make it mean so much much more.
I bet everyone knows how much of a hopeless romantic I am. And God blessed me with a dad who does things like these which just contributes to my whole living-in-a-dream-world-one-day-a-prince-will-sweep-me-off-my-feet-and-then-my-dad-will-walk-me-down-the-aisle life. And I am extremely lucky I have a dad who is silly all the time, serious when I need him to be, makes me smile, worries too much, reminds me Jesus is there when I forget and always always understands.
Typing this just bring back all those memories – listening to Electric Light Orchestra, BeeGees, Lobo and John Denver on his LP player, his whole “this finger means you friend me” game, the old purple Honda being a super car and all we have to do is press the button, close our eyes and the car will fly and we won’t be late for school, singing that “val-deri val-dera” song (edit: after years of trying to remember that song, it has finally came to mind! Thank You Jesus!) on road trips.
Of course you might think I made him sound like he’s the best dad ever. Trust me, he’s not perfect. There are days when he’s so unreasonable and I get so mad at him or he just nags waaaaayyyy too much and I get so annoyed and the whole typical protective dad issue but who’s perfect anyway? And who says I need perfection?
After all, a wise man once told me, “Don’t look for perfection, accept whatever that comes along your way and rest on the Lord’s strength to see you through all challenges.” 
I just noticed the cat looks so much like how I draw cats. Lol.
Happy birthday daddy! I don’t know if you read my blog but if mum does I guess you do too. XD I love you lots and I hope you have a very blessed day today! (:
xxx In-denial daddy’s girl <3
P/s: And after reading this, can you tell the only reason I’m looking forward to my birthday? I hope he doesn’t forget; I’ll be so disappointed if he does. But I did sort of hint that I’m expecting a card just to remind him. Lol.
Two things – coffee and upbeat music.
“Why do you build me up (build me up) Buttercup, baby
Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around
And then worst of all (worst of all) you never call, baby
When you say you will (say you will) but I love you still
I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darlin’
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (build me up) Buttercup, don’t break my heart”
Build Me Up Buttercup, The Foundations
Infectious. (:
And these two things are going to get me through revision period. Coffee to keep me awake and music to keep me happy during the times I have to caffeine-induce myself to stay up.
And do you know what rocks more than Kit Kat? Dark chocolate Kit Kat! 
(:
I lost a blog post. I have no idea when, how, where did it decide to go. The one I posted on meeting Baroness Hale is GONE. It’s not even a draft. I’ve already published it.
-_- WordPress, stop hating me please.
Please someone who has read it tell me I’m not hallucinating and I did blog on meeting Baroness Hale and my open unit next year.
If you love acoustic or alternative or indie music or generally musical films, watch this! This is not your typical boy-meets-girl love story. It’s enchanting and moving all at the same time. The music is amazing, it completely takes your breath away. This movie gave me goosebumps. Especially the scene where they first sang a song together. I’ve heard of the song before and it’s on my playlist but listening to it in the movie feels like I’ve heard it for the first time. Completely magical. Set in Dublin, guy who is a struggling musician meets girl and… well watch the movie to find out. But I assure you, this is hauntingly beautiful and NOT typical at all. If you’re a hopeless romantic like me and you love guitar/piano music, you will love this. Just remember it’s an indie film so don’t expect too much. Lol.
I remember seeing the poster for this movie a year or two back in the newspapers. As it’s an indie small budget film, it was only showing in Cineleisure. And I remember wanting to watch it then but no one I knew was into indie or foreign films. Hmph. But yeah thanks to fast internet and friends who like downloading movies and the fact that coursework is DONE and I feel like I deserve a break, I finally got the chance to watch it. (:
I want this soundtrack too! Lol. All the songs in it is composed and performed by both of the leads. Good stuff I tell you.
*
Life’s short. So… Eat as much as you want. Cry to your heart’s content. Fall in love. Dance till you’re breathless. Take a risk. Have your heart broken. Run till your muscles are sore. Do stupid things. Tell someone you can’t forget them. Have chocolate when you like. Laugh till your stomach hurts.
And drink fluorescent glow-in-the-dark bright coloured slush ice!
Though I was definitely sick halfway through and couldn't finish it. Lol.
Exams here I come! Exactly ONE month till finals. Six days to study for each subject – I counted. Haha. I’m going to camp in the library from next week onwards. (Cause I’ve given myself a holiday till then ) And then HOME HOME HOME to see everyone especially my little Jayson-boy! I’ve missed him so! If only I could say the same for him. LOL. But yeah woots! This year had definitely flown past. I can’t wait!
58 days
I want to gooooooooo! But but but there’s no one else I know who like them that much to go down to London and watch them with me.
And they are playing in Manchester University! Why can’t they come and play in Bristol???
This feels like finding out that last year Lifehouse went to Philippines. The closest I’ll ever get to watching them and I didn’t know about it.
For the first time EVERRRRR since I got here, I can say “It’s so HOT!!!” It was sweltering!!!!
At 18 degrees. LOL. But no, seriously, it was so hot. After months of shivering and complaining about the cold, it’s finally warm! Now only if it would stay like this till I go home. But knowing British weather, very unlikely.
The daffodils are dying. Spring is almost gone. Summer, hurry up and get here already!
ps: am lovingggg the fact that it’s still bright at 8pm! It confuses you but it also means longer days to enjoy the sun. And to do work. Essay no 2, here I come.
-_-
By the way, before I go I just HAD to show you this. Cos according to Ivan, my -_- emoticon is annoying. And now, someone else has found a way to annoy me instead on MSN.
This is NOT a handwritten message thingamajig on MSN. (I can’t receive them – yeah no fun, I know. ) Somehow the emoticon turned out HUGE! And this is the first time it has happened on my MSN. LOL. It covers the whole window ok! So yeah you can guess how Michelle annoys me now – by showing me the same emoticon over and over again. One day I’ll go nuts.
Edit: I just realised the emoticon Michelle used is actually a huge ass version of -_- ! Nothing else I can say but, -_-
Right now as I type this, I’m trying to freaking cut 169 words out of my essay. This is probably the worst part of writing an essay; finishing footnotes, references, amending words – so close to finishing but because of the stupid word count you just keep reading the essay over and over trying to find words to cut out. An unnecessary ‘the’, an out-of-place ‘a’, is this sentence relevant or can I sacrifice it? Sigh. Macam nak korbankan kambing. LOL. Never mind, the crabbiness is kicking in.
- The enemy knows what hurts me the most. And he knows how to use that to get to me. But I believe my Jesus is stronger than anything and with Him, I CAN break this stronghold. “He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world” (: Can’t remember the verse though.
- Sometimes Actually more like right now, I look at my life and I say, “Typical. So damn typical. This is like the story of my life or something.” And I don’t mean it in a good way.
- The Fray’s new album is goooooood. Only if you liked the previous and you like this genre of music. A personal favourite is Syndicate.
- I cannot sleep before 2 am anymore. My body clock has completely gone haywire.
- Truth to be told, as much as I want to go home, I’m a little afraid. I’m afraid to come home and find that everything has changed, people have moved on without me, awkward silences, having nothing to talk to my brothers about anymore. Little things that are going to upset me.
A headstart on what I’ve been wanting to blog about last week are these three videos. Isn’t it funny how interesting things like these always come your way when you’re rushing an assignment or you have an exam to study for and cause you to procrastinate? Okay, maybe just me then. Lol.
*IF YOU DON’T WATCH ANY OF THESE VIDEOS, JUST AT LEAST WATCH THE LAST ONE. IT IS SO SO WORTH IT.
I bet the whole world has heard of Susan Boyle by now but if you haven’t then watch this.
And here are some touching adverts from Singapore directed by Yasmin Ahmad.
“In the end, it’s these small things that you remember. The little imperfections that make them perfect… for you.”
The thing is…. didn’t you know how I felt about you and don’t you know you’ll always mean something to me?
You’re beautiful, every little piece, love
Don’t you know, you’re really gonna be someone
Ask anyone
Guess what came in the mail?
I ordered something over the weekend. And it arrived today, I couldn’t wait so I had it all put up this evening and just had to show you!
Photos! That’s what. My walls use to be blank except for the posters, drawings, the notes, a few stuff I printed and the photos people gave me before I came here. I didn’t have a chance to print any photos before I came so I decided to when I got an offer for 40 free prints! There is still a ton more I want to print but I’ll probably wait till I move into my new flat next year.
I guess this, in a way, is part of learning to move on. It sounds silly but when I first arrived here I was so depressed I didn’t even want to unpack. My dad made me, I’m serious. Lol. I guess decorating my room is sort of a start to accepting the fact that I live here now. Yes Malaysia is home and home is where the family is but things just can’t go back to how it was. Even if I decide to go back to Malaysia for good after my degree or even if I’m home during summer. Out of 12 months in a year, 9 is spent here now. It’s different now and it starts with accepting that home-right-now is here and I’ve gotta make the most of it. So I’m moving on, in a sense. I don’t even know if it makes sense but I guess this is good for me. To stop dwelling in my emo-ness (my dad called me that, can you imagine? *rolls eyes*) and get on with it! I bet that’s what a whole bunch of people wanted to slap into my silly little head. Lol.
Hmm… the photos does not look as overwhelming in the pictures. Maybe it’s cos I’ve been so use to the blank blue walls that it’s going to take some time to get use to. Lol. And let’s just hope that I dont wake up in the morning with all the photos on my face!
And when you find everything you looked for
I hope your life leads you back to my door
Oh, but if it don’t, stay beautiful
I am : still up at 2 am, countless cups of tea, endless binging on anything edible in my room, cereal for lunch everyday, constantly counting words, huger eye bags than before, mentally drained and tired. So tired.
BUT woohooooooo! Property DONE! Well sorta. Need to go through, edit, add footnotes you know that sorta thing but ah well, will do that closer to the deadline.
Now, repeat the above for the whole of next week till Law and State is done. Sigh. Goodnight world. x
