Meow? Curiousity certainly did not kill Kat.
Loving these two songs that are featuring Taylor Swift.
1) Half of my Heart – John Mayer
2) Two is Better Than One – Boys like Girls
I like her better in the second song cos in the John Mayer’s one, she’s almost drowned out. Battle Studies, the new album by John Mayer is amazing though.
Two movies and dinner tonight! I seriously live for the weekends. And three more weeks till I get some sunshine and time to rest! Can’t wait! xxxxx
Life’s tough when you least expect it. And it’s not in the amount of work you have or the essay you’re struggling to get through. It isn’t in the late nights or quiet mornings, still up and working. Because that’s life, you still have to get through it no matter what.
But it’s tough when the emotions spiral out of control and in the heavy-heartedness and inability to concentrate. It’s tough when everything you ever known – the security you’ve always had, the one person you could always turn to is not even there anymore. It’s tough when your problems seem insignificant to what others are going through and you want to talk to them about it yet you know what you’re facing is miniscule to their issues. It’s tough when you know sometimes this could be just seasonal depression or hormones acting up but there’s no cure anyway. It’s tough when you just want to cry cos you know the sadness will leave after you do but you can’t – you feel the tears prick behind the eyes and your nose starting to run and your chest hurting and you just want to cry huge sobs but the tears don’t fall. And it’s tough when you listen to songs that remind you of why you’re sad in the first place. It’s tough when you look at circumstances and feel like crap. It’s tough when you feel like this when all you want to do is stare at your reading list and finish the work before tutorial tomorrow. It’s tough when you know that all you need to do is pray but you can’t bring yourself to. It’s tough when you’re caught in this cycle over and over again.
I want out. And I want answers.
“I need the ending. So why can’t you stay long enough to explain?”
So after the past week, I feel like life cannot get any tougher. Haha. Well at least not while I’m still in law school. Last week was crazy stressful hectic right up to Friday itself and I’ve never been more glad it’s the weekend! Even though I say that now, I’m sure the next few weeks aren’t going to be easy. Especially when property essay and ACT exam week comes up. Oh wells, I’ll handle that when it comes along. Slept half the day away today after yesterday’s chicken rice + guitar hero + poker night. Lazy rest of the day spent talking to parents, watching Gossip Girl, Friends, ASOS shopping, easy meal with housemates and household chores. I LOVE saturdays. Especially when it’s wet and rainy outside and you know you don’t have to go out. ;)
Anyway here are two songs I’m loving at the moment. Enjoy! (:
Michael Buble – Haven’t Met You Yet
I’ve always needed one guy to prove to me that they are all not the same. And a while ago I thought I finally met that guy. And let’s just say he wasn’t the one to prove me wrong. So maybe I just haven’t met “you” yet. (:
Leona Lewis – Happy
I’m not going to play “life” safe. Sure it is great when you never get hurt. But how would you know what happiness is like if you’ve never tasted disappointment? I’m risking it all to be happy.
Have a good week! <3
What is?!
F-I-V-E FREAKING DEGREES DURING THE MIDDAY IN NOVEMBER! THAT’S CRAZY!
I think we’re in for a cold one this year. 
You know what’s one thing I LOVE about exam period or coursework due dates? (Not that there’s much to love during that period of time but that’s besides the point.)
Subway cookies! Oatmeal and raisin, chocolate chunk, double chocolate chip, rainbow chunk, macadamia nut. LOVE LOVE LOVE.
When it comes to stressful times, it’s always time for Subway cookies. And I must have at least 3 of them. Well maybe not all in one sitting but I’ve done it before and gotten quite sick afterwards. Lol.
So now I sit licking cookie crumbs off my fingers. Bliss. (:
Annnnddddd back to work. Why do I blog more when I have work due? -_-
Always loved his rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow. And I want a camera like that! <3
Anyways, lovely song to start a busy busy week! GO GO GO! 
Truth to be told, I haven’t been very happy for the last few weeks/days. Actually, right up till this evening I was feeling this heavy-heartedness. I have been trying to juggle everyday workload, career events, law firm presentations, essay due next week, research on law firms, house issues, emotions.
I went to CU for the first time in a year today. And I realised recently I’ve become one of those people who chase material things to be happy. Dad has been telling me no matter what the situation is, praise Him. In sadness and joy you’ve gotta be in a state of mind where you can always praise Him. So “yeah yeah I understand” but what I didn’t know is I couldn’t praise Him because I’ve been dedicating ALL my time to other things. I thought if I had these or that I would be happy. If I get the internship, that vacation scheme, this 2 week placement then I’m on my way to this and that and only then I’ll be happy.
BUT no! My source of joy should be from God! That if I don’t get these things, if I never have a chance to work in London, if I lose this or that I should still rejoice BECAUSE HE IS WHERE MY HAPPINESS COMES FROM! “And that’s the reason I can be joyful because no one can take that away from me!” Yes these things matter. They are the things I want but He said, “Delight yourself in me and I’ll grant you the desires of your heart”. I shouldn’t be talking to God only because I want all these but first and foremost I should DELIGHT myself in Him. I should ENJOY His presence. And all these other things are secondary, they will fall into their right places.
Felt like I just woken up from a zombie-like state of lying to myself all this while. I’m still a little sad (I have no idea for what reason, maybe Seasonal Affective Disorder) but I’m definitely feeling 100 times better than I have in the last few weeks. Still mentally exhausted and am mentally preparing myself for a tough week that lies ahead but here’s to being happier in no matter what state of mind I’m in! (:
I’m tired and drained and feeling like nothing is worth everything I do. I’m fighting to keep my faith. Heck I’m fighting just to keep my spirits up. I’m piled up with tutorial readings and on top of it all, all the career events shit isn’t helping. I get more depressed at every talk or event I go to. People tell me I’m never getting anywhere if I don’t have passion. And at this point in time I still don’t know if law is what I truly want to do. Yes I’ve had this conversation countless times with countless different people. But now it’s different. I need to make a choice soon. And soon is not very far off. I need to start applying for internships, training contracts, BPTC, pupillage whatever. I have options thrown at me right left and centre and I don’t know if I’m in the right place to begin with. I’m questioning why am I here. Will I even make it out of here? Who am I supposed to be? Where is life taking me? Where are You taking me? Are You even here?!
I need a friend. Someone who would talk to me without trying to push me into believing that I’m on the right path. Someone with unbiased perceptions. Not someone who tells me everything is going to be alright because that’s not what I need to hear right now. I need You God. Where are You? Why is it everything so difficult right now?
Maybe being halfway gone is as good as gone.
Can you miss something you never had? People tell me it’s possible. Maybe you just miss what you think you could have had. And maybe what you could have had would have been much different in real life. I guess no one ever knows.
If you want me out, then I’m on my way.
And I’m feeling, feeling, feeling this way.
Cause you’re halfway in but don’t take too long,
Cause I’m halfway gone, I’m halfway gone.
- Halfway gone, Lifehouse
*New album out soooooon! Excitement!
Someone impacted my life today. People always do. The random stranger across the street who smiled as you walked pass. The homeless lady on the corner. The apologetic neighbour. The crazy housemate. The phone call.
But the person who did today, is someone I’ve always assumed will never grow up. The one who will always be there taunting me endlessly, never ever giving in to me and making me do endless things whenever I’m around.
Words of wisdom really do come from unexpected places. “So what if the world doesn’t know me, I’ve got people who I actually care for and am cared for from where I am from” As I am struggling to find my place in this world and to continue to fight against losing faith, these words come at the right time. The whole post did.
Happy Birthday Little (Older) Brother! You surprise me sometimes. You truly have grown and I’m proud of you in so many ways. I miss you and love you. xxxxxx
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